I watched a client walk into my office..Senior leader.Six-figure salary.Respected by everyone around her.She sat down and said five words I felt in my body:"I don't recognise myself anymore."Because that used to be me.She had spent years climbing.Proving.Perfecting.And somewhere along the way, she lost herself in the process.Here's what I've learned after working with over …
I watched a client walk into my office..
Senior leader.
Six-figure salary.
Respected by everyone around her.
She sat down and said five words I felt in my body:
“I don’t recognise myself anymore.”
Because that used to be me.
She had spent years climbing.
Proving.
Perfecting.
And somewhere along the way, she lost herself in the process.
Here’s what I’ve learned after working with over fifty senior leaders in the last 5 years:
The higher you climb, the more you think you need to have it all together.
But that pressure?
That constant performance?
That voice telling you to push harder?
It’s not leadership.
It’s survival mode.
She told me her day looked like this:
Wake up already thinking about her inbox.
Back-to-back meetings with no time to think.
Saying yes to everything because saying no felt like letting her team down.
Checking emails at 10pm because she couldn’t switch off.
Going to bed exhausted but unable to sleep because her mind wouldn’t stop.
“I’m doing everything right,” she said. “So why do I feel so wrong?”
That’s when I asked her one question:
“When was the last time you made a decision based on what YOU actually wanted, not what you thought you should do?”
Silence.
She couldn’t remember.
That’s what happens when you’re performing instead of being.
You stop listening to yourself.
You stop trusting yourself.
You stop knowing yourself.
Real leadership starts the moment you stop performing and start BEING.
Being means making decisions from your gut, not just your head.
Saying no without guilt because you know your energy is finite. T
rusting that your presence matters more than your to-do list.
Leading from who you are, not who you think you should be.
You don’t need to work harder.
You need to come home to yourself.
That client?
She’s part of my Limitless Leadership programme.
And here’s what we did differently:
We didn’t work on time management strategies.
We didn’t create another framework.
We didn’t add more to her plate.
We worked on how she connects to her body.
I asked her: “What part of your body is pushing you?
Forcing you?
Not allowing you to just be?”
For her, it was her chest.
That tight, constricted feeling.
The one that made her say yes when she wanted to say no.
The one that kept her moving, doing, proving—even when she was exhausted.
We worked on releasing that.
On teaching her body it was safe to slow down.
On helping her nervous system understand that rest wasn’t weakness.
On reconnecting her to the part of herself she’d been overriding for years.
This is the work that changes how you lead.
Not from your head.
But from your whole self.
Six months in, she leads differently.
She’s stopped over-functioning.
She’s set boundaries without guilt.
She’s reclaimed her energy.
And most importantly?
She recognises herself again.
💭 If you stopped performing and started being, what would change in your leadership?
