My client looked at me and said, "I actually can't remember."She's been happy.Happy for meeting her husband.Happy for other people.But happy with herself?She couldn't remember.For one simple reason.The voice in her head wasn't particularly kind.If I had someone following me around all day telling me:-You're not good enough-You should have done this-You're doing it wrong …
My client looked at me and said, “I actually can’t remember.”
She’s been happy.
Happy for meeting her husband.
Happy for other people.
But happy with herself?
She couldn’t remember.
For one simple reason.
The voice in her head wasn’t particularly kind.
If I had someone following me around all day telling me:
-You’re not good enough
-You should have done this
-You’re doing it wrong again
-You can’t say that, just be quiet
I wouldn’t be particularly happy either.
But this is what it’s like living with ourselves when we don’t stop and ask if the internal dialogue is actually the reason we’re not happy.
It’s debilitating.
When our internal voice is critical, and for the majority of us, unless we’ve retrained our mind, it is, it impacts EVERYTHING.
It means we process and filter everything everyone says to us through that critical lens.
Which is why we end up thinking our team doesn’t respect us.
The board doesn’t like us.
Our partner isn’t listening.
Because we’re doing it to ourselves, so naturally our brain assumes everyone else is too.
The number one key to being happier, more successful, and better at leading a team is making sure that voice inside of us is kind, respectful, and has our back.
Otherwise, we never end up really hearing what people say.
We just hear what we’re saying to ourselves.
This, in my opinion, is the missing ingredient in leadership training.
Learning how to manage our own internal dialogue.
Master this, and you’ve mastered the art of building real connections, relationships, and true happiness.
And who doesn’t want to be led by a leader like that!
